Failed Designer…

“ Kathmandu is not a world like this where we live, plane flies over the sky, line of vehicle slithers on the road , well educated people lives there and they have lots of money. What life are we living here?? actually, you know, its not a living life at all, Life is there. Perhaps we have been bestowed with curse of  our own ancestor and  sent here only for suffering.” I remind papa saying to mama as I was child.  I think that was perhaps his first time in Kathmandu. And I didn’t hear such dialogue ever again, though he traveled KTM many times thenceforth, too.

           When I heard papa and other talking about ktm I would design the wonderful panorama of KTM in my mind. I would imagine plane flying over the sky,  dazzling car, buses, trucks, motorbikes, in my imagination since, I had saw  all that only in picture but had never ever  seen live.images (17) i would imagine valley like topography where I placed Pasupatinah, Swayambhu, Ghantaghar, Sahidgate, King Palace, tall, big and beautiful houses, Bagmati r  iver flowing midway of the city according to papa’s description, and well being peoples like our MUKHIYA in village roaming around being gentle. coz I had never been Kathmandu, and when someone talked about Kathmandu same plan of ktm which existed in  my imagination used to come in mind vividly. Sometime, I wished ,  if I were there for just a glimpse of that beautiful valley,I would be so pleased. I wished flying in the air(with plane 🙂 ) , wished riding bus, wished visiting all the beautiful places, meeting king and queen, wow! that would be so awesome. and Sometime cursed to god because I had listened that, god created everything, then why he have to just make like a godforsaken place where I born instead making it Kathmandu??

      Right now I am in kathmandu, the same place, of  which i had a beautiful design, designed on my own way, when i was just child, while I hadn’t ever been there !! but living in kathmandu, i am realizing now is not as good as i thought it would be. now every night i am having my slumber on the ground floor of this building confining all homely environment within a single room, in every morning and evening i am being transported by the same crowded  public bus/micro from room to college and college to room, since, I have no bungalow here , I don’t own my own vehicle at all. though, i am free to walk on the  bustling streets along with thousand of other, can  go to every nook and cranny of ktm. But, you know what??  I am really wishing to be at any other place except this ktm.

        when i first, came to kathmandu i was really excited. i was happy i am in capital city of Nepal, where , many of like me, still haven’t got fortune to place their feet. it was just wow !!  But, my excitement remained for no longer.  later i started to  realize, Kathmandu  really wasn’t as i heard and it wasn’t as i imagined. imagination of my mind got crumble into dust.images (15)

 Imagined panorama of my beautiful Kathmandu never included pile of garbages, dilapidated buildings, miasma of polluted air , waste and muck laden Bagmati, street full of beggar and disabled , flock of so many people, and so many vehicle and their noises …. and many more…! 

kathmandu, the same pit which i used to imagine as a unique model of civilization finally got imperfect. I found the lifestyle of people uneven. I didn’t find every people well being, I didn’t find every people well educated. I found some people gargling their mouth with champagne, and some people quarreling for bucket of water. Some stays in AC room sipping coffee, some remains in street with parched lips. Some are struggling for penny, some are corrupting million. Some have sky-scraper, other have became homeless. Some have everything ,


 and some have nothing so they are stretching their hand for coin. Really there are many more other worry things behind the glittering façade of so called civilized n modernized Kathmandu city. So called holy river Bagmati is far more different than I imagined, carries all the waste of city and you have to necessarily pinch your nose when you are around the bank. So called educated and civilized people of Kathmandu are busy in their own tunes and their self interest, unaware of other. makes  garbage in their own kitchen and prefers to dump it in the backyard of the adjacent houses. I mean people are kinda selfish. And worst than the mukhiya of my village.

       Now , don’t know how papa judges this city nowadays , but if he have still same kind of delusion I would like to say ; papa this city isn’t like our world as u said coz it is just not perfect than ours , there(in ours) at least you can hear the pleasant chirping of birds , gurgle of the stream that flows nearby our house instead of this cacophony of bustling city where 9


you will hardly find the solitude to whisper yourself. We have a habit to respire cool fresh airbut not the polluted with nauseous smell and we feel comfort to live in the green forest but not in the forest of houses and building. And we are not bestowed with the curse of ancestor but with the blessing, and not for suffering but to live life in fullest.

           papa when you used to talk about kathmandu, honestly i had designed the perfect kathmandu in my mind, but today when i witnessed by myself , seems like that hadn’t ever existed- so I am pretty failed designer !! 😦  





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